“Things to Do on a Boring Tokyo Night in a Hotel” by Richard Brautigan Have dinner by yourself. That’s always a lot of fun. Wander aimlessly around the hotel. This is a huge hotel, so there’s lots of space to wander aimlessly around. Go up and down the elevator for no reason at all. The people going up are going to their rooms. I’m not. Those going down are going out....
You were a season, you came and went. You were the Spring, the blooming scent and then the Summer, hours spent. You were the Fall, beautiful death descent and in the Winter we lost it all.
This is purgatory, I have found purgatory. It’s a place of indefinite prolonging. There are no wrong or right paths, there are simply paths. This isn’t nihilism, or cynicism; this is a place where everything is okay, even when it isn’t. It’s where you watch and let a love grow, as the grass would, a painfully slow becoming. It is okay that it’s painful sometimes,...
I could see for miles//miles//miles//miles.
I felt so sure of everything. My love to you so well received. And I just strutted around your town knowing I didn’t let you down. The truth be known, the truth be told, my heart was always fairly cold, posing to be as warm as yours, my way of getting in your world. But now I’m out and I’ve had time to look around and think and sink into another world, a world that’s filled with guilt and...
- seriously, plan a trip to San Francisco in February. - get back in touch with Lesley undergrad advisors. - move the FUCK back to Boston/Cambridge and get back to being involved in the ISO. - buy a pack of cigarettes, right now. - it’s excruciating how badly I need a glass of wine, or beer, or several of each. - finish W2’s. - go back up to Maine before Winter’s end. -...
American Football//But the Regrets Are Killing Me
I need to go back to San Francisco. There’s not a thing in the world stopping me right now, and I should probably take advantage of that. I’ve found myself looking at air fares all night, which eventually turned into flipping through photos of my last visit. Upon seeing familiar places in those photos, I couldn’t say how many times my heart jumped at the thought of being in that...
“In bourgeois society, therefore, the past dominates the present; in Communist society, the present dominates the past. In bourgeois society capital is independent and has individuality, while the living person is dependent and has no individuality.” -Marx and Engels ‘The Communist Manifesto.’
It’s a good thing it’s not Valentines Day.
As a result of my history, I’m afraid that I’ll let you down.
I’ll be sleeping on the floor because my bed doesn’t feel like home.
I hate this; I hate this so much.