I’m starving, yearning,for a sign that points towards a better side to humanity as its own entity. Why are we so desensitized to the feelings of others around us? Why can’t we put others before ourselves? Why do we rely so heavily on automation, short cuts, and time savers? How is it that we exert exorbitant amounts of energy and dedication to familiarizing ourselves with strangers online, yet we fail to embrace the company of our neighbors? Why do we depend on the panache of our online facades, when they are not anywhere close to our real time selves? Who are you, and why are you here?
today, i just want to be alone. i want to run around outside, get lost in a field with some books, a pen, my math homework, and music. i’m so confused about everything around me. after months of thinking about it, i’m beginning to feel as though my time on the east coast (new england, more specifically,) has run out. my visit to seattle this past september opened my eyes to a beautiful part of our country. i experienced the freshness that everyone spoke of. though it may not be true, to me that feeling has a lot to do with the fact that the west coast in general is still a new frontier, in comparison to the east coast. it almost feels that history has laid it’s baggage on the east coast; the west coast, the toddler of our nation, full of wonder. i want to leave connecticut and live vicariously through the innocence that is the west.
though, i’m sure i’ll never find home. my itchy feet will keep me going until the day i die.
i’ve had food poisoning for the past 36 hours. all i really want everyone to know is that, though a 24 hr. mcdonalds may seem desirable at various points in the night for various reasons, 75% of all food being made at that hour, is being carelessly made. i promise you. don’t do it. after this experience, i’m vowing to never eat fast food again. and! i’m going as far as to say that if it didn’t grow from the ground, i’m not eating it. i don’t want any meat, or high fructose corn syrup, or food dyes, etc. all of it is just grossing me out.